2 PARAGRAPHS 4 LIBERTY: #200 "OUR MOST IMPORTANT JOB"

     This is the last in my non-expert series about parenting and mentoring our children, which are probably the most important jobs that most of us will ever have.  We have already covered many important aspects of raising children, such as loving them and setting boundaries and expectations.  So this edition will wrap it up with a few more abstract thoughts on these important subjects. 

·         The best thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

·         Teach children not to cry or whine when things go poorly, but instead to use words.

·         If children fall down, teach them to get up – on their own.

·         When looking for a mate, project who you would like to be the mother/father of your children.  That approach alone has changed numbers of lives – for the better.

·         Within reason, if someone is “bullying” your children, give them some advice, but let them deal with it themselves.

·         The classic father is gentle beneath his firmness, and the classic mother is firm beneath her gentleness.

Finally, although it may for some people not be politically correct to discuss this issue so bluntly, one of the best things that parents can do for their children is to be married to each other.  How and with whom people live if they are not parents I leave to their own sense of morals and views of Liberty.  But if people have children they owe it to their children to be legally as well as morally committed to each other in marriage.  Without this commitment, in so many ways the children of those parents are virtually condemned to having lives of substantially reduced opportunities!  And, tragically, today’s social mores appear almost routinely to accept this as the status quo.  For example, if Google is accurate, something like 39.8 percent of ALL births in the United States come to unwed mothers, with a breakdown of 29 percent for Caucasians, 53 percent for Hispanics, and 71 percent for African Americans.  So what can we do about this?  We should hammer this thought into children we can influence from an early age, and when we hear laudatory reports about male celebrities who have children “with their girlfriends,” we should respond with sadness and even shame.  This issue should not be left to religious and spiritual leaders alone, each of us must all vocally do our part. Liberty comes with responsibilities, and where better to place our efforts than the future of so many of our children?  

Quote for the week:  “Children must be taught how to think, not what to think.”  Margaret Mead

Judge Jim Gray (Ret.) 

2012 Libertarian candidate for Vice President, along with

Governor Gary Johnson as the candidate for President

By the way, these columns are now on Facebook and LinkedIn at judgejimgray, Twitter at judgejamesgray, and wordpress at judgejimgray@wordpress.com.  Please visit these sites for past editions, and do your part to spread the word about the importance of Liberty.

2 PARAGRAPHS 4 LIBERTY: #199 "CHILDPROOFING THEIR CHILDHOOD"

     The response to last week’s 2 Paragraphs edition about the parenting and mentoring of children was gratifying, but I received only a few additional suggestions to pass along to you.  Nevertheless, it’s not too late.  So if you have additional thoughts about what works and what doesn’t, please don’t be bashful.  But one more thought occurred to me after the column was distributed, and it came from the DEA agent on the first narcotics case I tried as a federal prosecutor.  The agent told me that the prime defendant had been his friend when they were in high school together.  But the huge difference between the paths they chose was caused by their mentors: the agent had been mentored by his basketball coach, and his friend had been mentored by a drug dealer.  “There but for the Grace of God” the situations could and likely would have been reversed.

       And to follow up on last week’s concept, what many parents are doing too often today is childproofing the development of their own children.  What does that mean?  Because of fears that our children will be hurt or harmed, we don’t allow them to walk to school by themselves, play unescorted in parks where they can make up games to play with their friends, go to a market or travel on public transportation unchaperoned, climb trees or generally learn how to take care of themselves until dark when it’s “time to come home for dinner” – which was the rule when I was growing up.  Furthermore, during my childhood there were no terms like “Helicopter Parents,” and my friends and I were not protected by a “safe space” or from “trigger words” so that we could be kept from being confronted or otherwise forced to think on the spot for ourselves.  Yes, we certainly want our children to be safe, but many too many ways we have overdone it!  Not only do these “protections” breed a lack of ingenuity, creativity and independence, they also develop in many children a fear of life itself unless there is plenty of structure and supervision.  So what good is Liberty if people are too fearful even after they have “grown up” to give it a try?  Yes, Liberty can be scary in lots of ways, but it still is the best and most productive and gratifying way to live our lives!!

Quote for the week:  “The best way to predict your future is to create it.”  Abraham Lincoln

Judge Jim Gray (Ret.) 

2012 Libertarian candidate for Vice President, along with

Governor Gary Johnson as the candidate for President

By the way, these columns are now on Facebook and LinkedIn at judgejimgray, Twitter at judgejamesgray, and wordpress at judgejimgray@wordpress.com.  Please visit these sites for past editions, and do your part to spread the word about the importance of Liberty.